Mark Dain I'm thinking of coming out to my family although I'm not sure how. I've always waited for an opportunity when it's ideal to say but none has come up for some time. Should I just post something on Facebook? I don't know what to say. All I know is it's getting so draining saying "partner" and "they" and having to think before I say every sentence. It feels like I'm hiding and it's starting to really affect me.

Martijn My Facebook basic info has "Interested in" set to "Men and women" for years, with almost nobody ever noticing. I think I set that before ever talking about it with my family. But I also do not believe in the whole coming out thing, because straight people do not need to come-out either. Trying to remember what I did say... I think I simply commented on a hot classmate to my mom once, in passing, and that was it. I wasn't going to explain myself. Note that I have grown up around very liberal Dutch and Swedish people though, so your milage may vary.

Mark Dain I also had the same attitude; why do I need to come out when nobody comes out as straight but I'm finding myself losing self-respect by using "partner/they" rather than "boyfriend/him". If I use these words next time I talk to people, I don't want it to be awkward when they go from assuming I'm straight for almost a decade to knowing I'm gay in a fraction of a second. I guess I hate drama & confrontations so I'm trying to avoid that

Martijn Possibly. I have never used "partner/they" when talking about myself, only when talking about other people whom I will not assume status of. So I didn't need to switch to "boyfriend/him". Anyone who assumed things differently would just have to live with having made a wrong assumption.